Study Break: Meet Alvin Greene

In a country as big and diverse as the United States, there are bound to be plenty of eccentric characters who somehow find their way onto the political stage.  Like a circus mirror, these 'representatives of the people' show us for what we are: a hilarious motley crew of personalities, sometimes a few Leinenkugels short of a 6-pack.  This morning's case study goes by the name of Alvin Greene. 

Meet Alvin:

I'm about to make you scratch your head in disbelief

To start this off, everything you're about to read is true.

Alvin Greene was the Democratic nominee for Senate in the state of South Carolina during the 2010 elections.  He won the primaries with 59% of the vote before losing to Rep. Jim DeMint in the general election.  Far from being discouraged after the loss, Greene is talking about a possible 2012 presidential campaign.  When asked about his potential bid, Greene replied,

"I’m the man. I’m the man. I’m the man. Greene’s the man. I’m the man. I’m the greatest person ever. I was born to be president. I’m the man, I’m the greatest individual ever."

Green hasn't yet specified which party he will represent, which is good news for the Democrats, who tried to get him to quit the Senate race after he astonishingly won the primary without campaigning.  That's right - Alvin Green, a 32-year-old unemployed man with the nickname "Turtle" who still lives with his parents, didn't raise any campaign money or have a website, and paid for his own registration fees out of pocket... WON THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY FOR SENATE.

He was also implicated in a felony obscenity charge for allegedly showing porn to an 18-year-old USC student in a computer lab and following it up with the line, "Let's go to your room."

After a reporter tried to ask him about the incident, Greene started moaning "GOOOOOOOOO" in an attempt to get him to leave.

With Alvin screaming in the background, the anchor's calm summary of the whole thing is the best part: "That is Democratic Senate candidate Alvin Greene at his home, telling a reporter, to GO."

Part of Alvin's success is attributable to the catchy campaign video which eventually just becomes a Lebron James highlight reel.  He even manages to deny the obscenity charge (:51).  You really can't make this stuff up (UPDATE: Stephanie Wong has discovered that Jay Friedman produced the video, not Alvin Greene, I guess video editing wasn't one of his talents):

You know what, Alvin?  If the 2012 race comes down to you and Sarah Palin... you have my vote.